Loss and Gain
by Supreme Distraction
Summary: Kurenai realizes that she no longer has a crush on Asuma; that a certain ninja had rather violently bashed their way into her heart. And all it took was Asuma's death. AnkoxKurenai
1. Loss

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**--Loss--**

Kurenai Yuuhi was a beautiful woman.

At the age of twenty-seven, she was one hundred and twenty pounds on the dot and about 5' 7', possessing ample curves that made many a female ninja envious. She had an elegant, heart-shaped face, crimson eyes, and a mane of chocolate-toned hair to frame them both. She lived in Kohona as a Jounin specializing in Genjustu as well as the captain of Team Eight, consisting of Hyuuga Hinata, Aburama Shino and Inuzuka Kiba; each were skilled Genin and she loved working with them.

At the age of nine, the young woman had graduated from the Kohona Ninja Academy and had already passed her Chuunin exam by thirteen.

And, at the moment, Kurenai was drunk. Not drunk enough to do anything_ too_ stupid, mind you, but drunk to the point of being unable to walk a straight line.

Anyone who knew the 'rookie' Jounin-as she was called-knew that she was very responsible and hardly ever touched a drop alcohol, let alone allow herself to lose control like this.

Her red eyes were circled with a similar shade; she had been crying. The little wooden shot glass-sized cup in her hands wavered a bit as more tears worked their way to the surface, the burn reminiscent to the sting of sakè as it slid smoothly down her throat.

_/"Kurenai-sensei! Kurenai-sensei!"_

_Quick footsteps echoed through the passage._

"_Kurenai-sensei!"_

_She smiled slightly as her favorite student rushed outside, into the field where she was practicing Genjutsu. The lower half of her body emerged from the tree it had been part of and she padded over, "What is it, Hinata?" When she noticed the shy girl was sobbing, the smile dropped._

"_I-it's Asuma-sensei."_

_Kurenai's stomach dropped. Asuma, Iruka, and Kakashi had left for a mission in the Sand Village_

_three days ago. Had something happened to them?_

"_Where are they?" she demanded, resisting the urge to shake Hinata as the pale-eyed girl stumbled over her words._

"_T-the h-hosp-pital," she managed at last, "Tsunade-s-sama is seeing t-to them."_

_Kurenai was gone in a plume of smoke._

_It took the Jounin thirty-five seconds to cross the entirety of Kohona_—_thirty-five seconds too long, in her opinion. _

_She materialized in an empty hallway, the smell of disinfectants immediately hitting her nose. Through the window to her right, she could see the back of a blonde woman standing in front of what looked like a cot. She couldn't see who was lying on said cot, and pushed open the door._

_The Hokage was speaking to a silver-haired ninja quietly and, upon Kurenai's entry, she fell silent. The ninja on the cot, however, tried a smile, though it looked painful, "Kurenai."_

"_Kakashi... how are you?" A stupid question, she berated herself; the man was obviously in pain. The bandanna that was normally wrapped around his lower face had been removed and she saw that he had nicks and cuts all over his face. Upon further inspection, he was bare-chested save the bandages wrapped around his torso. They were soaked in blood._

"_I've been better." Kakashi chuckled despite his situation, "do you mind bringing me my copy of Icha Icha__ Paradise__? Tsunade-san wouldn't let me get it."_

_Tsunade shot him a glare that would have made a normal man cower in fear, "You leave this room before you're better and I break your other leg along with whatever ribs are still intact." _

_That being said, she turned her attention to Kurenai, who looked hopeful, "Where is Asuma?" The Hokage heaved a sigh, suddenly feeling far older than she was. Wordlessly, she lead the Jounin out of Kakashi's room._

"_... Asuma was killed yesterday by special Ops from the Sand"/_

The funeral had been simple, composed of friends of Asuma and his team, Yamanaka Ino, Akimichi Chouji and Nara Shikamaru. They buried him in the forest at the roots of one of the largest trees, a place where he and his team had trained often. Upon lowering the casket into the earth, Ino had burst into tears on Shikamaru's shoulder, leaving the young man to awkwardly pat her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Chouji, for once, was not carrying food and his expression was downcast.

Kurenai herself had proudly managed to hold back her tears even when they were all asked to say something about the deceased. She had kept her cool when they had all thrown a shovel full of dirt over the casket of her first crush and even when everyone had shown pity for her predicament. It was only when she was within the safety of her own apartment walls that she had broken down.

Memories were a horrible thing. They crept up on you when you least expected it, taunting you with how things once were... and are no longer. Memories of her and Asuma, young, carefree... She had been in love. If she was being brutally honest, however, she no longer saw Asuma as she once did.

And three days after the funeral she still hadn't slept—instead, taking to drowning her troubles in alcohol. But she mourned him as a good friend, nothing more. Her hair had lost its luxurious shine, her skin its healthy glow and dark circles had formed under the woman's eyes- proof of her sleepless nights; her entire person had wilted like a plant without sunlight.

The Jounin raised a hand and immediately the bartender was at her side pouring her another shot glass of suigei (1). She downed it before he could leave and it was filled again; one thing Kurenai loved about this bar was the fact that, as long as she had money, no one bothered her about how much alcohol she was consuming—something she had learned from hanging out with her best friend Anko.

Speak of the devil...

The purple-haired ninja had entered the bar, squinting in the low lights. She was decked in her usual fish net shirt and beige jacket, not that Kurenai could tell at the current moment, her mane secured in a spiky ponytail. She angled her head, seeming to be looking for someone and, when Kurenai blinked, she was gone.

It took the Genjutsu expert a full minute to register the fact that the shot glass was no longer held in her numb fingers and that there was someone seated on the barstool next to her. Blinking like an owl, she slurred, "Gimme 'dat back... Anko"

"No. You need to stop."

Astonishing. Mitarashi Anko, the famed 'psycho ninja' of Kohona was telling her to _stop_ drinking? Most nights, she had to fight to get her friend to even touch alcohol. Normally, Kurenai would have to drag the special Jounin's incapacitated body back to her apartment room and usually stayed the night to help her with a _wicked_ hangover the next morning.

Kurenai would have protested more, but Anko was already slapping down some yen and tugging her to her feet, "C'mon, let's get you home."

"Nu-uh." She shook her head, immediately regretting the action as the room spun off kilter. There was no way in Hell she was going back to her apartment just yet; that was where she had last seen Asuma and she avoided thoughts of him as best she could. She just wanted to forget...

"Well then, do you want to come home with me? I'm not leaving you here." There was a sort of determination in Anko's chocolate-toned eyes and the Jounin found she couldn't argue.

"...'kay."

During the entire walk to Anko's apartment, Kurenai relied heavily on her companion's support. As she leaned into her best friend, she let out a sigh and her speech wasn't as impaired as she asked, "Did I do something wrong, Anko?"

"What?"

The scent of alcohol on Kurenai's was strong as her warm breath tickled Anko's throat, "Asuma... did he die because I wasn't good enough? Because I never-"

"Shut up." There was no malice in Anko's voice, just resignation, "Kurenai, he loved you and wouldn't want to see you do this to yourself."

_'He loved me, sure, but...'_

Kurenai had come to realize that someone else had rather violently bashed their way onto her heart.

There was silence until they arrived and Anko fished some keys out of the pocket of her jacket, opening the door seconds later.

Through the foyer they went, passed Anko's cramped kitchen and into her bedroom. "Bathroom's here," she said, gently prodding Kurenai in the direction of a door to the left, "do you need help?"

The older ninja turned to face her friend and shook her head, swaying a bit as her eyes locked with chocolate toned orbs, "Thank you, Anko." She leaned forward and very gently kissed Anko's cheek, "You're a great friend."

Anko blinked, surprise showing clearly on her face. It melted into a warm smile, "What are you talking about? It's what friends do."

The door shut and there was shuffling as Kurenai shed her clothes. Once the water started, Anko wandered off to clean; her house, as usual, was a disaster zone.

--x--

_'Geez, Kurenai, why do you have to be so damn innocent?' _Anko felt terrible, but the way her best friend's eyes filled with trust and affection made the not-so-pure part of her mind (and it was a big part) work in hyper-drive.

It really did hurt to see Kurenai become a mere shell of the caring, hard working woman she once was; the one she had fallen so hard for. What bothered Anko the most was that the red-eyed Jounin was retreating deeper and deeper into herself, not even bothering to train her students.

Something that Anko had been doing over the last three days in her stead; something she _swore _she'd never do after being duped into becoming a proctor in the Chuunin exams, because she _hated_ kids. Yeah, well, so much for that.

With a sigh, Anko went to her sink and began the grueling task of washing the pile that had accumulated, mind elsewhere.

Her objective, upon entering the bar, had been to retrieve her friend and rescue her from herself. So far so good. '_Now, I just need to make sure I don't screw up anything...' _

Of course, she almost had when Kurenai had kissed her; had almost spilled her guts right then and there. It was just a kiss on the cheek, granted, but it had spurred the purple-haired Jounin's heart into doing somersaults. Fortunately, that had been one of the rare moments that Anko hadn't just blurted whatever was on her mind, damning the consequences. Moments like that seemed to occur more and more when she was around Kurenai.

A bit belatedly, Anko realized that the shower was off. She turned off the tap and quickly dried her hands to go check on her house guest.

_'Kami...' _Kurenai was naked and dripping wet from her shower. She looked up upon Anko's entrance, expression sheepish, "Do you have a towel?"

Berating herself for gawking at the miles of pale skin, long legs and feminine curves ('_dammit'_), the special Jounin quickly went into the bathroom and retrieved a towel. Rather than handing it over like a _sane _person would have, she began to pat her friend dry.

"I can do that myself, Anko," Kurenai chuckled, although she made no move to stop the younger woman. She did, however, notice that Anko flushed when drying off her more... intimate areas.

_'Does she really think I can't tell?' _

Straightening, Anko noticed the amused look on her friend's face and arched a questioning eyebrow while motioning for Kurenai to sit on her bed, "What?"

"It's nothing."

Then began to the task of drying the dark, silky mass that was Kurenai's hair. The younger woman's ministrations were gentle and the silence was comfortable despite Kurenai's state of undress. But why wouldn't it—they were best friends, right? Yet, somehow, Kurenai felt like there was a bit more than friendship.

"... Hey, Anko?"

"Hnnn?"

"Thanks."

"You already said that." Her tone was teasing and she gave the long hair a gentle tug.

"No, I mean for being here for me. I love you, you know that?" '_More than you seem to realize.'_

Suddenly, there was a lump in Anko's throat and she could only nod in response. Kurenai meant like a sister or a best friend, of course, nothing more...

She cleared her throat, and rose, "You should get some sleep."

Kurenai crawled to the top of the bed and slid under the sheets and Anko couldn't resist leaning over and kissing the crimson-eyed woman on the forehead, "Good night, Kure-chan."

An idea hit Kurenai, just then.

Anko was moving to turn off the lights, when a warm hand caught her wrist, "Wait."

She half-turned to face her friend, a single eyebrow cocked in question.

"Stay with me. Please?"

**There you are, chapter one. Let me know what you think! I'll have chapter two (the last one) in a bit.**

**-Distraction**

**(1)Type of sakè**


	2. Gain

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Naruto.**

**--Gain--**

Against her better judgment, Anko shut off the light and joined her half-drunk friend in bed —flat on her back—on the other side as far away as possible from the still-naked Jounin. That was ruined as Kurenai rolled over and snuggled against her. "We've been friends for a while, huh?"

Outside, the full moon was streaming in through the window above her bed, giving Kurenai's pale skin an alabaster glow like the luminous orb itself. Concentrating hard on keeping the blood out of her face (she was sure the moon would make the red tone visible) Anko could only nod.

"Will you do me a favour?" Her eyes were heavy-lidded and Anko swallowed.

"Eh... sure."

Strangely, Kurenai didn't name her favour, instead she buried her face in Anko's shoulder and, soon, her breathing became deep and slow.

_'She's asleep...' _An affectionate light filled Anko's eyes. Now that the woman was asleep, she wasn't afraid to stroke the ebony curls from her face or fully appreciate the beautiful body curled so close to hers. Kurenai was so angelic looking while she was asleep—as though the problems of the day had been forgotten if only for a moment.

She shifted, about to detach the sleeping woman from herself and continue cleaning when a slim arm was slung around her waist, pulling her closer to the warm body beside her. "I didn't say you could leave," Kurenai muttered sleepily.

_'Or, maybe she isn't.' _This time, she couldn't stop the blush from spreading to her cheeks, "Ummm, what was that favour you wanted?"

She didn't respond right away—instead, she traced the seams of Anko's jacket, fingers brushing gently against her fishnet shirt. Anko breathed in sharply.

"Anko, we've been friends for a while now, hn?"

"Yup."

Those slender fingers were entwining themselves in plum locks, tugging until crimson eyes met chocolate. There was a light in Kurenai's eyes that Anko couldn't quite label, "Be truthful: what are your feelings for me?"

The suddenness of the question—not to mention the proximity of the naked woman—caught Anko off guard and she could only gape as Kurenai's fingers drew nonsensical patterns on her abdomen, the fishnet shirt doing nothing to hinder her.

"K-Kurenai, why would you ask that?"

"You act different around me," Kurenai said softly, eyes searching, "a bit... tamer. I've been picking up on how you blush when I'm around," her hands slid back up to Anko's face to cup it, "how you flinch when I touch you..."

Anko's eyes darkened, "And, so now that there's no Asuma, It's fine to be with me?" She hadn't meant to sound so hurt, it just came out that way.

"You're wrong. It's _because _of Asuma that I realized my feelings for you. You're always there for me; always so strong when I need strength and in control when I'm breaking apart." Her expression became sad as she released Anko and sat up, hugging her knees to her chest, "I never told him, you know. I never got the chance."

Despite herself, Anko leaned over and enclosed the older woman in a hug. "I'm sorry," she said simply.

Again, they were quiet. Then, Anko broke the silence, "Soooo... what was that favour you wanted?" She knew Kurenai was hurting and wanted to help her, even if she was just a replacement; a substitute. Even if Anko herself was hurt in the process.

Kurenai looked up, red ones brimming with unshed tears, "It's selfish, but..." She trailed off, crimson orbs flicking from Anko's eyes, down to her lips, then up to her eyes again. Very slowly, she leaned forward, giving Anko ample time to move away.

She didn't.

The kiss was chaste at first, but Anko's tongue swept over Kurenai's bottom lip and was granted immediate access into the warm, moist cavern.

She was hesitant now, despite being the one to initiate the kiss and Anko's tongue slid across her teeth, then dipped deeper, warm muscle sliding against warm muscle. The Genjutsu expert tasted faintly of alcohol and Anko groaned slightly, shifting her weight so that her new-found lover was lowered onto her back, not breaking the lip lock.

_'She's done this before,' _Kurenai found herself thinking.

It was pushed from her mind by Anko's tongue as it pressed against hers again and retreated, urging the crimson-eyed woman to follow. Meeting halfway, they wrestled for dominance until their lungs burned with need for air. They broke apart, panting slightly, a healthy red tint adorning pale skin as proof of their activities. The special Jounin leaned in again and this kiss was rougher, filled with lust, and Kurenai returned it eagerly.

With languid slowness Anko's fingertips, calloused from years of Taijutsu, brushed down both arms, then up her sides, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Her lips left Kurenai's and planted a kiss at the corner of her mouth, then down her jaw in a trail of butterfly kisses. Wet, open mouth kisses were pressed down the side of Kurenai's throat and the junction where her neck met her shoulders was nipped, hard enough to leave a mark.

The older Jounin gasped as skilled fingers cupped and squeezed her breasts. As Anko's tongue dragged over the length of her collar bone, those same fingers rolled nipples into hardened nubs, the sensation raising goosebumps.

"Anko..." The word came out as a husky whisper.

An all too familiar grin graced the purple-haired woman's lips as she shifted again, sliding her thigh in between Kurenai's and finding that the older Jounin was very wet. Their lips met again as Anko hurriedly shed her jacket and, with Kurenai's help, the fish net shirt followed suit.

She let out a surprised gasp as Kurenai twisted, flipping her onto her back and straddling her, slim legs on either side of Anko's midsection. Her breasts rose and fell with each breath, the sight drawing lust-darken eyes and she crouched, lips brushing against Anko's ear as she whispered, "This is about you. I want to make you feel good."

The special Jounin was rendered unable to respond as the crimson-eyed woman nipped her ear, then wasted no time drawing a circle dusky nipple with her tongue before pulling it into her mouth, causing Anko to arch reflexively into the contact. A warm hand came up to fondle her other breast as Kurenai's tongue completed another circuit, her mouth reaching molten temperatures as she suckled the younger Jounin.

Her hand and mouth switched places, her unoccupied hand wrapping around Anko's waist. A trail of kisses, burning like cinders, was made from her breasts to her inner thigh, then down to her heels; her lips anywhere and everywhere except where Anko wanted. The younger Jounin couldn't hold back the whimper that left her throat and Kurenai returned to her lips for a moment. Her skirt was tugged off and thrown unceremoniously to the floor, followed closely by lacy black underwear.

Then, at last, a single finger traced the length of her slit, feather-light and teasing.

"_Kurenai!_"

Chuckling slightly, Kurenai slid down Anko's body and lifted the woman's legs over each shoulder, her intent clear. Leaning in, she spoke once more, hot breath gusting over Anko's private place, adding to the heat that had pooled there, "I love you, Anko. I want you to know that."

With that, her tongue plunged into Anko, taking in the tangy almost sweet taste of her arousal. The younger woman cried out as the smooth muscle traced up her labia then circled her clit in tight little movements, her fingers grasping plum-coloured sheets as though it was a lifeline. Two digits were added into her tight hotness and began a slow pumping.

"Gods, Kurenai... _yes!_" Anko gasped, throwing her head back.

She increased her pace, now nibbling gently on Anko's clit. The lusty moans reminded Kurenai of the dampness between her own thighs, but she ignored it for the time being, adding a third finger, feeling Anko's vaginal walls clamp down on the invader. The purple-haired woman is close now—so close—her breathing ragged and uneven, a tension growing in her groin.

"Please (pant, gasp) Kurenai..."

The plea didn't go unheeded.

Fingers partially curled, Kurenai's thrusts sped up, hitting a place within Anko that made the younger woman see stars. All it took was a harsh bite that nearly broke the skin on the inside of her thigh for light to swamp Anko's vision. She went rigid, her entire frame shuddering in a silent climax as Kurenai continued to pump into her with a steadily slowing pace.

When, at last, Anko grew still, Kurenai came back up so that they were face to face, allowing the Jounin to taste herself in a searing kiss. Drawing back, she kicked the sheets off of the bed—it was far too hot—and pulled Anko close to her; the younger woman buried her face in the crook of her neck.

"Goodnight, Anko." Kurenai murmured, feeling sleep tug at her eyelids. She was slightly disappointed that she hadn't reached a climax of her own, but didn't bring it up.

Anko raised her head and planted a gentle kiss on full, red lips, "I love you, Kurenai."

And, suddenly, everything was just fine.

'Cause there was always a next time, right?

**-Fin**

**Well, it took a while for me to finally be satisfied with this, hope you liked it! Poor Kurenai and Anko aren't paired together enough.**


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